If your bed has become your everything—your desk, snack zone, social media scroll lounge, and crisis-planning HQ—you’re not alone.
But if you’re tossing and turning, struggling to fall asleep, or waking up exhausted, it might be time to rethink what your bed is actually for.
Experts agree sleep quality isn’t just about how many hours you get. It’s about how you treat your sleeping environment. And when it comes to your bed? There are really only three things you should be doing in it.
Let’s break down what belongs in your bed—and what doesn’t.
1. Sleeping—Like, Actually Sleeping
Your bed should be a signal to your brain that it’s time to rest.
But when you use your bed to binge Netflix, scroll Instagram, or check emails, your brain gets mixed messages. It stops associating your bed with sleep and starts associating it with stimulation and stress.
Why it matters:
Our brains thrive on association. If you only use your bed for sleep, your mind starts to recognize lying down as a cue to wind down. But if you’re constantly doom-scrolling or writing work emails under the covers, your brain stays alert instead of relaxing.
How to reinforce this:
- Set a bedtime routine that trains your body to wind down. That could mean making tea, reading a book, or listening to calming music.
- Use blackout curtains, cool temperatures, and a white noise machine to make your bed a true sleep sanctuary.
- Commit to a “no phone in bed” rule (or at least switch to airplane mode).
Real-life tip:
Keep your charger across the room. That way, you’re not tempted to reach for your phone “just for a second,” which always turns into 45 minutes and a regret spiral.
2. Sex—Because Yes, It Counts
Yup, intimacy still gets the green light.
Whether you’re flying solo or connecting with a partner, sex in bed can help you sleep better. That’s because it releases hormones that relax the body and calm the mind—exactly what you need before drifting off.
The science behind it:
After orgasm, your body releases oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone). This helps you feel more at ease, lowers anxiety, and makes it easier to fall into deep sleep.
Benefits of intimacy before bed:
- Improves sleep quality
- Reduces stress and anxiety
- Helps you feel closer to your partner (or yourself)
- Releases feel-good chemicals that boost your mood
Important note:
This isn’t about adding “have sex” to your to-do list—it’s about giving yourself permission to relax and enjoy something that naturally benefits your sleep and wellbeing.
Real-life tip:
If you’re too tired at night, consider changing your schedule. Morning or afternoon intimacy can still offer those same relaxing benefits and set the tone for a better night’s sleep later.
3. Resting—Without Guilt
Sometimes, sleep doesn’t come easily. Maybe your mind is racing, or your body just isn’t cooperating. But that doesn’t mean being in bed is wasted time.
Resting—just lying there quietly—can still restore your energy and help your body reset.
Here’s what resting can look like:
- Lying down with your eyes closed and breathing deeply
- Meditating or doing a body scan
- Listening to gentle sounds or ambient music
- Simply letting your body be still, even if your mind isn’t fully offline
Why rest matters:
Research shows that even when you’re not asleep, just resting in bed can lower your heart rate, reduce mental fatigue, and support emotional regulation. Your body gets a chance to recover and recalibrate—especially important for women balancing a million things.
But what if you can’t fall asleep?
Sleep experts suggest getting up after 20–30 minutes of wakefulness. Do something quiet and non-stimulating in dim light (like reading a book or sipping chamomile tea), then try again when you feel sleepy.
Real-life tip:
Don’t stress about the time. Watching the clock increases anxiety. Turn your phone face down or leave it across the room to avoid checking it.
What You Shouldn’t Be Doing in Bed
Let’s be blunt—your bed isn’t a catch-all zone. These things might feel comforting in the moment, but they’re seriously sabotaging your sleep long-term:
- Scrolling social media: Blue light disrupts melatonin and keeps your brain wired.
- Working on your laptop: Even “just one email” shifts your brain into productivity mode.
- Eating snacks or meals: Crumbs in bed and disrupted digestion? No thanks.
- Watching intense shows or news: High-stimulation content = high-stimulation brain.
- Overthinking your to-do list: Mental stress doesn’t clock out just because you’re lying down.
Final Thoughts: Your Bed Is Sacred
If you want better sleep, start by protecting your bed like your peace depends on it—because it does. Reserve it for what actually helps you relax, reconnect, and recharge.
Sleep. Sex. Rest. That’s it.
When you create boundaries around your bed, your brain learns to treat it as a place of calm, not chaos. And when that happens, falling asleep feels less like a battle and more like a blessing.
