Let’s get something straight: waking up at 4:45 AM doesn’t automatically make you more productive, more fulfilled, or more “together.” Especially if you’re a mom.
The narrative that success (or peace, or self-care) starts with an absurdly early alarm is tired — and so are we.
For years, the internet has sold us the idea that early rising is the ultimate life hack.
But for moms juggling work, parenting, housework, and some semblance of a personal life? That early morning silence might not feel peaceful — it might feel like punishment.
Let’s talk about it.
The Myth of the Magical Morning Routine
There’s no shortage of productivity gurus, influencers, and “boss babe” YouTubers telling us that a 5 AM routine changed their life.
And look, I’m all for people doing what works for them. But the idea that all moms should follow suit is unrealistic at best and damaging at worst.
You know what happens when a mom wakes up at 4:45 AM after getting up twice with a sick kid, finishing laundry at 11 PM, and answering emails she missed during school pickup? She’s not centered — she’s exhausted.
Self-care doesn’t start with sleep deprivation. And success doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all wake-up time.
Why the “Just Wake Up Earlier” Advice Fails Moms
Let’s break it down:
1. We’re Already Running on Empty
Moms are often the last to sleep and the first to wake.
Even without a 5 AM alarm, many of us are already functioning on limited rest — thanks to school drop-offs, toddlers who don’t sleep through the night, or work deadlines we pushed off until after bedtime.
Adding another hour of “me time” by subtracting another hour of sleep isn’t a solution. It’s a setup.
2. Not All Hours Are Created Equal
That peaceful early morning hour people rave about?
It only feels magical if you’re well-rested, your house is quiet, and your brain isn’t fogged by sleep deprivation.
For most moms, the first hour of the day feels like a slow boot-up process — not a productivity party.
And let’s be honest: you could get that same moment of peace at 9 PM with a cup of tea and your phone on Do Not Disturb.
It doesn’t have to happen before sunrise.
3. Our Schedules Are Already Full
Telling a mom to wake up earlier implies there’s space in her day for everything she’s already doing plus a new yoga habit, journal routine, skincare session, gratitude practice, and productivity sprint.
But many of us don’t need more time. We need less pressure.
What Moms Actually Need More Of
Instead of earlier wake-ups, how about we focus on what we’re really missing?
1. More Sleep
Sleep isn’t a luxury; it’s a biological need. And for moms especially, it’s often the first thing to go when life gets busy.
But no self-care routine will ever be more powerful than a full night’s sleep.
If you’re struggling to stay calm, focused, patient, or even upright? Try more sleep, not more alarms.
2. Uninterrupted Time — Whenever It Comes
Self-care doesn’t have to happen before the kids wake up.
Maybe your peaceful moment is during a lunch break, after bedtime, or even in the car before pickup.
The time of day isn’t what matters — it’s how you feel during that time.
Peace, presence, and quiet can happen in five minutes. And yes, it counts even if it’s while hiding in the bathroom.
3. Realistic Routines, Not Rigid Ones
Morning routines can be lovely.
But only if they fit your life.
If you thrive with structure and want to be up before the sun? Great.
But if you’re forcing it because you think it’ll finally make you feel in control — give yourself permission to let that go.
The best routines are the ones you don’t dread.
Redefining Self-Care for Real Life
Let’s stop selling the idea that self-care only counts if it happens in the morning, in a matching pajama set, with lemon water and a 20-minute meditation.
Self-care is any moment that helps you reconnect with yourself.
It might look like:
- Sleeping until 7 instead of 5:30.
- Watching a guilty-pleasure show instead of journaling.
- Doing absolutely nothing because your body is begging for rest.
You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re just human — and probably doing a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
How to Make Mornings Work for You
If you do want more peaceful mornings (and aren’t just trying to survive), here are a few realistic ideas that don’t involve sacrificing sleep:
1. Get Ready the Night Before
Set out clothes, prep lunches, load the dishwasher.
These little steps can make mornings smoother without costing you extra sleep.
2. Delay the Chaos
Try not to check emails, social media, or the news first thing.
Give yourself five quiet minutes — even if it’s just while brushing your teeth or sipping coffee.
3. Make Mornings Optional for Self-Care
Your self-care doesn’t need to be tied to the clock.
Some days, your version of self-care might be skipping the routine and sleeping an extra 30 minutes.
That’s not failure — that’s wisdom.
You’re Not the Problem — The Advice Is
If waking up early feels good, do it.
If it feels like punishment, stop.
You’re not broken because you can’t squeeze an entire wellness routine into a sleep-deprived 45-minute block of time before your kids wake up. You’re not lazy because you’d rather stay in bed.
You are a whole person — even without a 5 AM alarm, a sunrise journal session, or a “That Girl” morning aesthetic.
The world doesn’t need more tired moms with perfect routines. It needs more honest conversations and realistic advice.
So here’s yours: Go ahead and sleep in.
